as broken children and what we now think is true love.
Each of us deserve to find the love of our lives, but we
do have to love our selves first to attract what you deserve.
I can truly help you to break these patterns. Below are
just some of the subjects we may need to address in our
This is a list of many questions and informational answers
about love and childhood patterns that quite often are asked
of Tonya Somers during her readings. Of course these are
not the answers for each of you, but they are pretty common
answers/issues and questions. I can truly reach in and clear
all of these issues/memories out of your aura within a healing
However, everyone in the world should have an aura cleansing/chakra
balancing, and if you do this with me, I will teach you
to do it yourself everyday.
do I keep dating someone like my Father or Mother?
When we first start dating, we usually attract a partner
that has the same issues that have gone unanswered about
why our most dysfunctional parent was the way they were
when we were young. We tend to marry them, or partner up
someone with the exact problem, so we can learn about that
parent. Who in their right mind wants to marry someone exactly
like their parent they had problems with anyway? I can help
you stop attracting the same issues.
Are you a broken child/adult/child?
There is no such thing as a perfect parent or a perfect
child I told my daughter when she was 12 years old
and stomping off "You should start a journal on what
I have done wrong during your early years; it will save
you thousands of dollars in your 30s in therapy. You
can just flip pages, and say "Ah ha. That was the day,
my mom messed me all up, and it all went wrong!"
Many of us are so damaged from our childhood upbringing,
that when we start dating as (supposed) adults, we tend
to attract/date/marry an exact image of the bad personality
trait of the parent we never understood while we were little
kids. It confused us as young children, and we still wonder
"Why is my dad or mom acting like that? Why do they
treat me and each other this way?" So we seek those
answers, or should I say our lessons, unfortunately from
our chosen mates.
When you wonder those questions at this young age, you actually
seal your future dating fate. At that exact moment you made
a decision at lets just say 5 years old, when you
said to yourself I will never marry/date someone like
that, right then and there you unknowingly stated
your future subconsciously, so that when you grow up you
will do just that.
Granted, we are just children when we make that decision,
and we should not be held accountable for that. Holy cow,
we were only around 5 years old! This is unfair! Why do
I keep dating someone that will always disappoint me? The
simple answer is this: that 5 year old child that still
lives inside you, made that decision on how to relate and
act within an adult relationship.
How scary is that? I bet you didnt know that you as
a 5 year old (or so) are doing all the attracting of that
wrong person did you? Now you are thinking, arent
What we saw as young children we tend to bring into our
adult relationships. Until we see that we are playing out
that old movie of our minds, we can not recognize a great
relationship, or how to make one work, or to see we have
a great partner. This takes patience and lots of inner reflection
to see what you are doing wrong. Again, I can help you to
see your patterns.
Most of us need to go to the right therapist, or work with
someone like me on these subjects, to help you see what
you really need in your life and deserve.
If you are lucky enough to find the right person, never
take real love for granted. If you find it, work hard at
it. The grass is not always greener on the other side; sometimes
you just need to water your own yard, and nourish the love
you have now in your life.
great exercise to help you figure yourself out:
Get a journal. Make 3 columns for each person in your past.
Make 3 columns for each person in your life good
traits bad traits how they interact in their
day-to-day lives, outside of home and inside the home with
Do this for your mom, your dad, each of your prior lovers.
Now your turn write all about you, same columns,
be honest - what are your patterns? Have a friend help you
to see yourself. Circle the common factors in each person
and in yourself
now you see your patterns. Once you
see them you must work daily to get past them.
cant I find someone as great as my Father or Mother
as my mate?
If you are one of the blessed lucky children that had wonderful
parents, you may tend to trust too easy and want to believe
everyone is like them. This is not always true, and you
could be easily fooled. Be careful and take your time.
Why do I have communication issues
with my mate and children?
Do you talk at your partner instead of communicating with
her or him? A perfect way to find out is to try this: go
into a bathroom and look in a mirror. Say the words to yourself
that you were just going to say/yell at your mate, or child,
to yourself while looking in the mirror. Use the tone of
voice you were going to use at them, and see how you feel.
Did you get a stomach ache? Did you want to cry? Should
you say those words? No. Let it go.
Why do I keep dating/attracting
someone that always disappoints me? Why do I attract married
people or cheaters in general?
If you truly do not want a real love partner in your life,
you will set yourself up to date replaceable people. You
will both know at the beginning that this has a time limit
and it will end. You both look for this and set it up from
the beginning, and you will both not want to commit for
Many of us say we want love, but we do not really want to
give up our personal space and control or independence.
You may be wondering what I mean by the term Crazy-maker?
Many of you have dated this type of person; you could have
been raised by one or had a boss at work or coworker that
is impossible to deal with. They want to change you, to
mold you into a partner with low self-esteem, who will never
leave them. They will berate you, and beat you down, so
you do not think you can do any better than them. I have
seen many people literally die to get out.
Usually the mate they choose (you) will actually be smarter
than they are; more educated, come from a better or different
back ground; MAKE NO MISTAKE! They are with you to literally
BREAK YOU down, all the way.
The term is pretty simple and self explanatory--these people
will truly make you crazy! They will make you doubt your
own sanity. If you are with anyone who makes you start thinking
that you are always wrong, and you begin to doubt yourself,
and your own opinion, or the way you live your life, they
are a crazy-maker. First figure out the lesson they brought
you, then RUN AWAY FAST!
Most the time, crazy making is done just verbally and through
their mean actions, like blaming you all the
time. Crazy-makers are extremely narcissistic. (Read below)
If you are starting to doubt YOU or how you live your life;
if you are feeling unsure of your choices, developing depression;
then they are winning! Stop the game! Run for the hills--live
your life again!
cant I meet someone?
Do you look people in the eye? Do you put yourself in positions
where there are single people? Do you flirt? Do you go out?
Do you really want to? Are you willing to do the work? Are
you willing to kiss the frogs?
is the perfect mate? I say pick your dysfunction!
Uh, NOT ON THIS PLANET! There is not a perfect man or woman
you will never find everything in one person. This
is why we need to have friends and hobbies, so that we do
not need to be so dependent on one person to make us happy
and complete. We should be a bonus to each other in our love
relationships, not a drain. If not, they may be the wrong
person, or you two need to go to therapy and work on this
We all know a drama queen or king! The problem is sometimes
they are addicted to trauma. It is as bad as drugs and alcohol.
Usually they come from a home where they did not get the proper
love and attention. If you are one, and are never happy with
anything or anyone, do not cheat on your mate! We can work
on this together in a healing session. But you will need to
watch yourself forever to make sure you are not acting too
quickly in all situations in your daily life.
do I attract liars or cheaters?
Look at yourself, do you deserve this? Is this a lesson? Are
you one of them? Do you feel guilty about something? If this
is true, then maybe do some community services or charity
work. Give of yourself so you can forgive you.