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Crazy Makers and Narcissism

Do you have a Crazy Maker in your life?
You may be wondering what that means by the term “Crazy Maker.” Many of you have dated this type of person; you could have been raised by one or had a boss at work or coworker that is impossible to deal with.

They want to change you, to mold you into a partner with low self-esteem, who will never leave them. They will berate you, and beat you down, so you do not think you can do any better than them. Again, Tonya Somers has seen many people literally die to get out of this unhealthy/sick relationship.

Usually the mate they choose (you) will actually be smarter than they are; more educated, come from a better or different back ground; MAKE NO MISTAKE! They are with you to literally BREAK YOU down, all the way. They do not want you to be strong.

The term is pretty simple and self-explanatory–these people will truly make you CRAZY! They will make you doubt your own sanity. If you are with anyone who makes you start thinking that you are always wrong, and you begin to doubt yourself, and your own opinion, or the way you live your life, they are a Crazy Maker. First figure out the lesson they brought you, once you have that answered, get the heck out of there – RUN AWAY FAST!

Most the time, crazy making is done just verbally and through their “mean” actions, like blaming you all the time. Crazy Makers are extremely narcissistic. One of the best things you can do, carefully, put a hidden voice activated tape recorder on or your cell phone, after a week of yelling at you – leave them with the tapes and say here listen to this and go to the store for hours. It should help to start changing them for the better if it does not – RUN FAST!

If you are starting to doubt YOU or how you live your life; if you are feeling unsure of your choices, developing depression; then they are winning! Stop the game! Run for the hills–live your life again! Better yet safe your own life.

Why do I attract liars or cheaters?
Look at yourself, do you deserve this? Is this a lesson? Are you one of them? Do you feel guilty about something? If this is true, then maybe do some community services or charity work? Give of yourself so you can forgive you.

Beware of people that accuse you of cheating on them or lying to them. They are looking in their own mirror and accusing themselves, and they are the cheaters and liars. Watch a liar. They always look up at the ceiling, or close their eyes when they are lying to you. Habitual liars – CANNOT be cured.

Why do I attract alcoholics and bad boys/bad women?
It all goes back to being a kid; did one of your parents have addictions or hidden parts of their personality? Do you like drama? Chemistry lasts about 3 years with the bad boy/woman, then it is all over, and usually not in a good way (Read the Soul Mate page.) Do you drink too much? They all have low self-esteem, do you? Are you just fooling yourself into thinking you can fix them? Tonya Somers has never seen anyone seen anyone else change unless they want to, have you honestly? People say they want to change but that does not mean that they will always succeed, these people have something to show you about yourself.

To all you people that attract the wrong people and may move in with them right away, or cosign or co-mingle your credit with things like cell phones and leases – please watch the court shows on TV, and you will learn from their mistakes.

It takes 5 years to really know someone when you date them. Anyone who tries to move in with you too quickly is afraid you might get to know the real them and you will dump them, so they move in fast before you throw them out. Beware of fast movers! Never marry anyone for at least 2 to 3 years.

Habitual Liars:
Simply put, there is no cure for this, and they can get around psychics because they actually believe the crap they are spewing! If someone you are with lies a lot, especially about stupid stuff, just move on. Run now, because they are the type to go to prostitutes, strip clubs, cheat on you, take drugs, gamble, have two wives, do not trust them EVER! THERE IS NO CURE…..HABITUAL LYING IS worse than being hooked on heroin because they believe themselves what they spew!!!

Narcissism:
Are you dating/married or working with a person with these traits? Narcissistic personality disorder symptoms include:

  • Believing that you’re better than others.
  • Fantasizing about power, success, and attractiveness.
  • Exaggerating your achievements or talents.
  • Expecting constant praise and admiration.
  • Believing that you’re special; more than anyone.
  • Failing to recognize other people’s emotions and feelings.
  • Expecting others to go along with your ideas and plans.
  • Taking advantage of others.
  • Lacks empathy for anyone and anyone else’s needs.
  • Expressing disdain for those you feel are inferior.
  • Being jealous of others.
  • Believing that others are jealous of you.
  • Trouble keeping healthy relationships.
  • Setting unrealistic goals.
  • Being easily hurt and rejected.
  • Having a fragile self-esteem, but has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements.)
  • Will be preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love (they date, and date, and date.)
  • Truly believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions.)
  • Requires and demands excessive admiration.
  • Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment, or automatic compliance with his or her expectations.
  • Is often envious of others, or believes that others are envious of him or her.
  • Shows arrogant, haughty, behaviors or attitudes.
  • Appearing as tough-minded or unemotional; Jealousy and possessiveness.
  • Excessive need to feel special, adored, loved, appreciated, or admired.
  • Rage attacks when you do not sufficiently meet his/her needs
  • Controlling behaviors (trying to control how you spend your time, who you talk to, how you dress, etc.)
  • Inflated self-esteem, or grandiosity (bragging, “fishing” for compliments.)
  • Dramatic, insecure behaviors.
  • Expecting you to take responsibility for making he/she feel better about him/herself.
  • Blaming you for behaviors or feelings (i.e., “YOU made me do this,” or “YOU made me feel this way.”)
  • Not taking responsibility for angry behavior, and justifying angry outbursts.
  • An attitude that demonstrates “the world revolves around me” and “you need to cater to my ideas, opinions, thoughts, and feelings.”
  • An unwillingness to reflect on his/her own behaviors.
  • Will pretend to want to change, go to therapists/psychics/astrologers, weight loss clinics, and they will ask questions about how they can improve their lives – yet they do not mean it. Easier to blame their Mom, or the last relationship they were in.

Here are some more signs of Narcissistic Personality Disorder to look out for:
Although some features of narcissistic personality disorder may seem like having confidence or strong self-esteem, it’s not the same. Narcissistic personality disorder crosses the border of healthy confidence and self-esteem into thinking so highly of yourself that you put yourself on a pedestal. In contrast, people who have healthy confidence and self-esteem don’t value themselves more than they value others.

When you have narcissistic personality disorder, you may come across as conceited, boastful or pretentious. You often monopolize conversations. You may belittle or look down on people you perceive as inferior. You may have a sense of entitlement. And when you don’t receive the special treatment to which you feel entitled, you may become very impatient or angry. You may also seek out others you think have the same special talents, power and qualities — people you see as equals. You may insist on having “the best” of everything — the best car, athletic club, medical care or social circles, for instance.

But underneath all this grandiosity often lies a very fragile self-esteem. You have trouble handling anything that may be perceived as criticism. You may have a sense of secret shame and humiliation. And in order to make yourself feel better, you may react with rage or contempt and efforts to belittle the other person to make yourself appear better.

Narcissistic personality disorder is a condition characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, need for admiration, extreme self-involvement, and lack of empathy for others. Individuals with this disorder are usually arrogantly self-assured and confident. They expect to be noticed as superior. Many highly successful individuals might be considered narcissistic. However, this disorder is only diagnosed when these behaviors become persistent and very disabling or distressing.

Complications of being with someone with this disorder:
Vulnerability in self-esteem makes individuals with this disorder very sensitive to criticism or defeat. Although they may not show it outwardly, criticism may haunt these individuals these individuals and may leave them feeling humiliated, degraded, hollow, and empty. They may react with disdain, rage, or defiant counterattack. Many serial killers have this trait.

Their social life is often impaired due to problems derived from entitlement, the need for admiration, and the relative disregard for the sensitivities of others. Though their excessive ambition and confidence may lead to high achievement; performance may be disrupted due to intolerance of criticism or defeat.

Sometimes vocational functioning can be very low, reflecting an unwillingness to take a risk in competitive or other situations in which defeat is possible. Individuals with this disorder have special difficulties adjusting to growing old and losing their former superiority? If you are with this person, you may want to move on with your life alone.

I hope you learned something here, and that I helped to clear some issues up for you.
If you are with a Crazy Maker, or you always seem to end up with one, Tonya Somers can help you break this pattern.

I hope you learned something here, and that I helped to clear some issues up for you.
If you are with a Crazy Maker, or you always seem to end up with one, Tonya Somers can help you break this pattern.